Rare Days and Different ways

Well today is a leap year day and no matter how you look at it this day is rare on the calendar – but it still feels like another day to be greatful for life, to enjoy opportunities to prosper and choices to consider. The one thing I am choosing to do on this leap day is make a committment to myself to find ways to help, assist, support or make someone elses life better. I am knowing that on this leap day as I choose to focus on ways, means and places where I can be of service to the lives of others, I am honoring the growth of my own greater awareness of the deeper connection of all people to a source of all life itself. Call it what you will, but the decision to focus on what we can all do to create more balance, kindness and joy beginning this day will go a long way to contribute to the shifting  human mindset towards compassion, highest good and yes I’ll say it love. How are you leaping today?

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The Leadership of Kindness

Being a globally minded business leader or the easiest way to become one is to focus on the values of kindness in terms of how effective you are in leading people during this seemingly delicate economic environment.

One of the most compelling aspects of leading with kindness is the reciprocal appreciation that shows up in the production of those you lead.

Freedom is an aspect of kindness itself; it is defined as: an act that shows consideration and caring. So as a leader, kindness begins with realizing that those who you lead are always in a state of acting out their choices [good bad or otherwise] but who they as individuals must be honored and appreciated.

 The strength to do all of this as a leader comes from your willingness to appreciate the values, gifts and talents of those you lead. A way to achieve this state of kindness as a leader or as a leader in training is through the action of pure acceptance.

Truly accepting others just as they are – on their own path – creating their own results and learning their own lessons along the way is the kindness path to true leadership. Those who you are leading will respond to the appreciation and do more to carry the company vision to its realization. The active practice of consciously accepting things as they are and diligently working on the way we perceive them puts us in the power position of making things shift, change and transform. It’s all about trusting your decisions and choices based in kindness [in hiring, discipline, coaching and even termination] as being practical and right.

Life is about freedom. Attachment to rigidity and an inflexible office culture is the antithesis to freedom itself – it causes a blockage of the desired demonstration [result]!!

                

                                                         

 

By David Phears

 

 

 

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Reject Raggedy Resolutions!

If you read this between Dec. 25, 2011 and Jan. 1, 2012 it will be timely – if not, guess what? It will still have relevance because it’s all about New Year’s resolutions and how for many of us they are redundant, ridiculous and really tired!

I wish a had just a minimal invested interest in some of these health clubs, diet programs and running shoe companies just for the first six months of each year. People make New Year ‘in the moment’ promises [with their subconscious fingers crossed] to do all sorts of things that suggest that where they will be if they do these things will be so much better than where they are now. I’m all for self improvement and desiring better for myself but I’ve learned over the years that to make a promise to myself & others just because it’s the thing to do and that this particular day is the only right time to do it – I would be setting myself up for failure, disappointment and embarrassment – I would be just doing what the herd is doing and not standing up on my own two feet.

Man, I find that it takes all of my creative energy to just do my best to live life fully and out loud each and every day!! Why would I want to put more unnecessary pressure on myself to perform at levels and frequencies that are  beyond my willingness and determination anyway? I’ll tell you why most people fall into this self set trap – because they ‘laze down’. When you seek the easy way out, when you think that  other people, tradition and culture know what is best for you, you just might be ‘lazin down’. Lazin down is the act of choosing to be lazy when it comes to creating or discovering new ways to  express and experience your life while ‘dumbing down’ to status quo living.

You are created to be the best of who you are and to feel good about what you bring and what you offer; you are here to have fun, enjoy life and to learn about love. All the rest requires broken resolutions, disappointed dreams and shattered expectations – you are better than that!

Making unrealistic New Years resolutions can be a form of ‘lazin down’ because you know when you make one – most of the time you’re doing it emotionally and competitively to prove a point or fit in to the current conversation that you are involved with at the time.

There’s a better way for creating better, more and sweeter no matter when you start and no matter who else knows you are doing it: Here’s my choice – dump the seasonal resolutions and create an evolving mindset of practical solutions!! 

Research mental tools, create reminder statements, work with people who really support you and practice looking for solutions instead of wallowing in the condition or your current position [if it's not what you want]. Folks it’s all a matter of attention – focus on the solution and you will be able to see it clearly. Focus on the problem and the clarity fades and more problems seem to arise.

Resolutions don’t solve problems they set goals and sometimes unrealistic ones which can cause more – you guessed it – problems.

If you are reading this and it appeals to you then you have a rebellious spirit anyway – so why not put your rugged individualistic mind to work and become a master at creating solutions and let the rest wrestle with their shaky resolutions!! After all - you do deserve the best don’t you?

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Announcement #2

Hey if you get the chance – check out my archived radio broadcasts on www.blogtalkradio.com !!

And remember I am still offering my Fulfillment Coaching services for 2011/2012 (leave a message on this blogsite with your phone number if you are ready to invest in yourself for the new year)don’t get caught in the illusion of New Year’s resolutions – partner with me as your coachand create nothing but solutions!!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO YOU AND YOURS!!!

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Holiday Balance – Gift Yourself First

As we swing into the Holiday season 2011, I want to pose a few questions to you for consideration and contemplation.

Before I ask the questions, I do want to share a few thoughts with you. This season of the the year has always been special to me as I’m sure it has been for many people and perhaps for you.

When I was a youthful boy, this season of the year held feelings of excitement, hope and anticipation for the gifts that might come. I think what I perceived as the relaxed, joyful, giving, ‘rally around the dinner table with out of towners’ mindset of my parents brushed off on me during that part of my life. To me the Christmas season was a good time to be enjoyed by everyone.

During my high school years the winter break focus shifted to beoming more about the vacation from school, teachers, studies and ‘pressure’. I was more interested in creating multiple opportunites to spend time with my friends, finding where the best parties were and engulfing as much food as I could eat wherever I was invited.

In college, my winter holiday mindset was the same as in high school except by that time, sex, drugs, rock and roll, soul music and jazz became my focus and reason to celebrate. I totally immersed myself in the late 60′s and 70′s counter culture of ‘tune in turn on and drop out’ and that didn’t change just becuse it was ‘Christmas time’.

As a young adult out in the world on my own I allowed myself to get caught up in confusion, resentment and feeling like a victim. This was especially true when this season came around on the calendar of my life because things were starting to drastically change as my harmful habits took a greater and greater toll on me.

There came a point in my addiction experience that I resented the Christmas season. I resented the break in society’s shift of attention from competition, corruption and business as usual to family, fun and celebration [I discovered later in my recovery that I felt this way because I was unhappy, unhealthy and unwilling to change myself]. But it all changed when I decided to quit killing myself, became willing to learn how to live anew and did whatever it took to find life as it was meant to be.

At this grateful point in my life and for the past 30 years, I’ve eased into a mellow, soulful and enjoyable consciousness when it comes to this season. I now realize that it is a much broader celebration of sacred and holy days for many diverse religious beliefs and for many different reasons.

I’ve learned that with the change of seasons and calendar days that the significance of this time of the year is circulation, assimilation and elimination of energy it is the flow of life in action. Today, I hold good thoughts and a high consciousness for my family, friends, acquaintances, ‘enemies’ and the planet as a whole during these times.  I use this season to remind me of how I want to feel all year long and then get committed and busy about doing it!

Holiday season questions:

1. What do you enjoy most about this holiday season? What do you least enjoy?

2. Are you willing to build upon what you do enjoy and are you willing to seek to open up to find more ways to appreciate these holidays?

3. What can you let go of in your memory or belief system about past holiday seasons that would clear you up for greater freedom to create more joy and well being for yourself and others beginning this season?

4. Whose life could you make better this season with the gift of forgiveness, appreciation or acceptance of who they truly are?

Enjoy yourself, continue to create your best experiences, invest in your higher good, be of selfless service to others and learn to have fun in the process!! Happy Holidays - Merry Christmas – Happy Hanukkah - Soulful Kwanzaa – Sacred Winter Solstice and whatever else shows up that I don’t know about yet in terms of Holy Days and Holidays.

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ANNOUNCEMENT!!!

Greetings, I want to invite you to click on my new page for Videos and let me know what you think. I really do enjoy interviewing ordinary people who have done extraordinary things to help others in their lifetime. So much of the real world is not talked about, reported on or sometimes even noticed by many people. The surging tide of positive thinking and kindness on this planet is the place where I choose to focus my energy, talent and passion – to promote and publish any way one man can the good that is the lifestyle, mindset and consciousness of the majority of people on earth. The time for worshiping, idolizing and condoning meanness, violence and cruelty is over. Take a stand with me and do what you can to shift the human condition one thought, one choice and one conversation at a time.

Stay tuned for more video!!

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Live as a D.O.P.E. free zone!!

There is indeed a history of  experimentation and, well o.k., an extended relationship with mood and mind altering chemicals in my past. Unlike most politicians, I inhaled, ingested and consumed my share of the 1960′s and 70′s! What I learned in my ‘discovery through recovery’ is that life is beautiful, I am meaningful and people can be wonderful. So for me, those experiences were painfully necessary on my path to ‘enlightenment’ and personal freedom – which is how I choose to live today.

So I am drug free physically and living the life I’ve always dreamed of: healthy body, a peaceful lifestyle, loving relationships and a joyous sense of humor. The thing that really gets me in balance every time I get knocked for a loop or surprised by others decisions is what I call D.M.P.daily mental practice. This is a commitment to find mental tools and processes to keep my creative and thought energies in alignment with my greater good and not my would and should!

In the next few blogs, I’ll share some of them [DMPs] with you. You are always invited to purchase my book ‘A Book Of Weeks’ by responding to this post & requesting one. But meanwhile the first tool I want to share was intuitively given to me during a ‘dark night of the soul’ experience. If you don’t know what that is let me explain it this way: when your whole world seems to be pulled apart, when there are deep pains in your head & heart, when totally alone is what you feel – then the dark night has become very real!

As I did the inner mental and emotional work to move through that difficult time, I used the following tool to constantly remind me of what I wanted to be aware of in terms of my mental state by observing how I was responding, acting and showing up in each situation. With this awareness tool I could  transform my thinking which would shift my attitude and create a better experience – it WORKS WHEN YOU WORK IT!!

So what I got was the word D.O.P.E. – as in NO MORE D.O.P.E. – here is the acronym:

NO MORE…

Defending

Offending

Pretending  or

Expectations!!

I chose to no longer defend myself to other people when I realized that I thought their approval was more important than my own love for myself!

I chose to not offend anyone, push my position or beliefs on anyone nor accept anyone else’s attempt to ‘dump’ their ‘junk’ on me!!

I chose to no longer pretend or put on a fake face for the fear of upsetting anyone or not being accepted by the ‘crowd’! If I have something to express I will do it! I will also take the responsibility to make sure I simply deliver information – emotion free – with kindness and no worries about how they choose to react, respond or feel towards me – because my intent will be clear.

Finally, I chose to work on letting go of unhealthy expectations. I began to allow myself to be o.k. making mistakes, allowing other people to be just who they are, where they are in their development and call it all good!

Folks, there is unbridled freedom in living as a D.O.P.E. FREE ZONE! Your freedom and happiness will be infectious and you will begin to attract more joy. Problems, trials and tragedies will still show up – but guess what - when you are d.o.p.e. free your dark nights become ‘darkish’ and the amount of time ‘going through’ the corridor of a challenging time will be significantly diminished.

Walk In Balance – David

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Accepting Invitations

Maybe it’s because this is my birthday week – and maybe it’s because I hear all of the usual well intentioned cliches like “age is just a number”, “well you made it through another one”, and the clincher “wow – you’re how old?!” that I’ve decided to look at the invitations in my life.

I’m not just referring to invitations to parties, lunches, golf ‘tee times’, jazz and blues events, movies, plays, bar-b-ques, weddings, walks, motorcycle trips and what ever else people will extend an opportunity to bond, share, hang out, laugh, sweat, break bread or burn off some calories.

The birthday week question for me is, how much of a friend am I either to myself or to others.   How much energy and thought do I put into inviting other people to enjoy life with me? HMMMMM – I think I would like to do it more and for no other reason than to learn more about life and myself. That’s right it’s because of those two reasons that for so many years I back peddled away from making friends because I wasn’t sure I wanted to learn more about my mysterious self and I certainly didn’t want to invite other people to witness my stumbling discovery of my true self – how potentially embarrassing! what a crock!

I see how with that kind of thinking, I was inviting into my life experience a lot of being alone and stewing in my own misery. Thank goodness for my new way of thinking – I now know that I must invite my self first – first to care about – first to love – first to be a friend and then I can open up to invite others into friendship!

So my birthday gift to myself was to accept an invitation today from a friendly Buddhist Community to sit and have lunch with them. I accepted – when in the past I would have made some lame excuse simply because I was uncomfortable about some perceived possibility of being more uncomfortable – wow how unfriendly is that?!

What an experience!! I was honored in two languages, served great genuine international food while sitting on very comfortable floor mats and gifted a chance to be the only non-Vietnamese person in the whole sanctuary [over 200 people].  After the sounding of a beautiful huge prayer bowl and some beautiful chanting prayers [no clue what was being said - but the feeling was great] it was time to eat.

But first the Venerable Masters who sat up front facing everyone else [along with yours truly], we had to open open our lunch dishes – only then did all of the other people begin to eat. And let me tell you the silence was awesome – all I heard were the clinking of bowls, tapping of chop sticks and the chewing going on in my own face!!

I share this because if you , like me want to see more kindness, compassion and cooperation in our world, making new invitations to potential friends and accepting invitations from others, we begin to see more broadly and judge less frequently and face it if change is to be it’s up to you and me!

So I will enjoy and celebrate my birthday week by continuing to be open to all of the new invitations  that life brings my way – all I have to do is be alert, aware, willing and ready to accept with grace and gratitude!

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Ocean Minded

So when I am sitting with my canine companion, aka dog, on the rocks of a jetty next to the pacific ocean I sense a dichotomy of feelings and emotions. One the one hand, taking in all of the beauty of the warm sun, the sea spray from the waves crashing upon the jagged rocks, the surfers, paddle boarders, busy sea gulls, the graceful pelicans and the occasional dolphins – I connect to a higher stream of thinking in terms of the power and ability of the creative source and supply of all life – in pure straight up evidence right in front of me! I really do feel the presence of Infinite Life – call it what you want – but yes it’s real and I actually find myself in these situations seemingly remembering that I am always and will always be in the same presence and experience wherever I am!

On the other hand I know the scene will always change to things like work, laundry, meals, bills and the daily doings and delights of human interactions, distractions, contradictions, wins, losses and running headlong into other people’s proclivities, preferences and choices. Even though the inevitability of the changing scene in front of me is real – every day I’m working on keeping that ‘ocean mind’ with me more and more everywhere I go – it seems to make things easier, less battle, fewer battle wounds, more room for laughter, lightness and yes even more love! And for me all love experienced is success! Be it universal, agape, unconditional, puppy, lustful, luscious, giving, receiving, forgiving, joy-filled, sharing,  genuine and or appreciated.

So there is a test of my theory you see, it comes when  when I’m in the dentist chair, when someone tells me they just don’t care – or some one says that I belong ‘over there’ –  when I’m at the DMV or spilling my last cup of tea – right then it can only be an ocean mind that brings me forward to peace and sets me free!!

 

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Real Success

I guess for me I wonder what it is that prompts women, men, teens, youth – humanity if you will, to tolerate intolerance.

I truly believe that we all have infinite potential for successful living.  Success has a personal & intimate definition  that each person must have for themselves. To want to be like someone else who you’ve labeled as successful, you are wanting to be them and that’s impossible. Yes we can be inspired by the way someone reaches their own success or how we perceive them as being successful – but true & lasting success is absolutely a personal thing. Which means there is some definite success defining work to be done to determine what the values and desires are for each one to create their own path to their own success.  Granted some are lofty, limited, grand or restricted but each one of us has the right – from Africa, Asia, Alabama and the Azors to Paris, Panama, Pakastan and Puerto Rico to create our own plan to reach the personal success imagined and visioned for.

So use what you have, bloom where you are planted, know that this too shall pass – and in the mean time and between time – do the inner work to create your very own successful life and share it with those that are doing the same and watch the fireworks begin – enjoy!!

 

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